I'd open my eyes and see the exact place I don't want to see myself in. I'd come to my senses and realize that I want to stop time and just sleep the days away. But thoughts of deadlines to meet, requirements to accomplish and responsibilities to attend to came rushing in. Heavy-heartedly, I'd go on with my daily morning routine.

After an hour or so, I'd realize I'm running late for my 7 am class again. I'd ponder on whether or not I'd have the courage to come to class an hour late. I'd decide that I'd just miss class (again?) today and make up tomorrow (which I never did. Up to now!). I'd spend the rest of my travel time and planning my hours of free time.

Then depression will hit me again. "How could I be so irresponsible?This is not me!" My conscience won't stop bugging me until I'd pity myself for being the loser that I am now. I'd start to feel hopeless, directionless, and worst of all - lethargic. I thought I'm done with this crap. But months later, after I started entertaining these thoughts, weeks after I started picking myself up, I realized that I'm still trapped. As if with every step i take towards rising from the pit I've fallen myself into, I slide and fall down two steps lower. And even before the old wounds heal, another one opens again.

I'm not sure if I'm sick. But I'm definitely tired. I'm tired of being wrong, always. I'm tired of commiting mistakes and suffering from them. I'm tired of discovering my weaknesses and feeling sorry for myself. I'm tired of knowing what's wrong and not knowing how to make it right.

I'm simply tired of being tired of life itself.