HAUNTS me at the HOLIEST hours
PLAYS with the COLDNESS of the NIGHT
when I usually think there's no one else
BUT then I remember YOU.
FEAR, it's oblivious of YOUR presence
UNBEKNOWNST of your AWESOME LOVE
I must have been really BLESSED!
Now, I worry NO MORE!
For I have in me a SPIRIT
that's bigger than the spirits that belong to the world♥
far greater then ALL my FEARs combined
more POWERFUL than the wounds of ages past
more CERTAIN than tomorrow that's yet to come.
It's YOUR WISDOM that dominates my life
It's YOUR WORDS that breathes life to my losing spirit
It's YOUR HANDS that hold the crumbling pieces of my heart
It's YOUR LOVE that gives strength to my humbled soul
YOUR GRACE abounds within me.
Oh FEAR, abandon me!
Because tonight there's only a place for:
HAPPINESS (for HE has set me FREE)
and GRATEFULNESS (for the GREAT LOVE He has given me)
in my heart.
*Woke up at 12 am. Been disturbed by another bad dream. This one's milder than my recurring nightmares but it's a nightmare nonetheless.
I
don't know what's wrong with me.It's been like a curse really. A few
minutes ago I actually thought I'm starting to develop somniphobia (an
anxiety disorder that makes you feel that once you fell asleep you
won't be able to wake up again) then again, I realize that it's not
sleeping that I'm afraid of, but the nightmares that come along with
it. It just happens too frequently it's starting to scare the hell out of me already! I've started reading some books on nightmares and dreams *yeah, it has disturbed me this much*. I found some good reads in the main library and have been reading some of them since Tuesday.
I think what I'm having now is some sort of what they call "Night Terrors". If I remember it correctly it's like having difficulty in believing that your nightmares aren't real. Thing is, this usually happen to kids only! Upon waking up, adults have a capability to realize that a nightmare, no matter how terrible it is, is but a dream. I'm 19 so I'm a young adult, right? Then how come I feel like I have 'night terrors'?
I'm no dream analyst or psychologist to diagnose myself, but it's just the only way I can totally make sense out of what's happening. It's my only way to allay myself that there isn't something wrong with me.
I can differentiate a dream from reality, it's just that I can't help but think that these recurring nightmares aren't just some random thoughts from my unconscious state. As I've read, dreams are like messages of yourself to yourself. Hey, I never really thought I'll succumb to delve on this area of study. As a budding engineer (haha!), this is a foreign science to me. But having the same nightmares for like the nth time leaves me no other choice! And right now, I'm ashamed to admit that I actually believe that these nightmares carry a hidden message I'm yet to decode.
I don't know if I wish to decode it though. It really scares me.I want to be free. It's affecting me this much! I want to conquer this 'night terror' or whatever this is, I just really don't know how to. That sucks BIG TIME, man!